The universe, according to Homura and Kyubey
by einootspork
Summary: After long nights in Madoka's new world, Homura Akemi frequently finds herself discussing philosophy with an emotionless alien.
1. On scale

**_On scale._**

It was a cold winter night in Mitakihara. The wind blew as sharply as a knife, slicing through everything that crossed its path. Snow was falling gently to the ground. The citizens slept uneasily in their beds, not aware they were dreaming demons into existence.

Akemi Homura was sitting on top of a parking garage after a particularly exhausting kill. She scooped the last of the remnants into her hand and threw them over her shoulder at Kyubey, who opened his slot and collected them inside his pristine carapace.

Homura cast her eyes upward. The sky was unusually starry tonight; the moon was new. She noticed a constellation which, if she perhaps squinted, might look like…

But no. She'd have to content herself with carrying her in her heart, not looking for her around every corner. It was selfish, not to mention absurd.

_Homura, are you ready to leave yet?_ Kyubey's voice in her mind startled her.

Homura was taken out of her own thoughts and back into the real world. "No," she said bluntly.

_You need to be well-rested. It would not do for you to die in battle for lack of a quick wit,_ Kyubey advised in his meaningless lilt.

"Afraid I'll catch cold?" Homura asked, a bit bitterly.

Kyubey didn't respond.

"I was thinking about… the stars," Homura sighed. "And how there are billions out there. Thousands of billions, even… I think I read ten to the twenty-second power, somewhere." She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm boring you, aren't I? You know all this already."

_I do,_ Kyubey thought. _In fact, I believe I understand much better than you. You can recite the facts, but the human mind is not capable of even approaching comprehension._

"Still, it's a reminder of just how small we really are in the end, isn't it?" Homura laid herself out lazily on the pavement, receiving a panoramic view of the twinkling sky. "All of those dots are huge, burning suns many light-years away from us. Our planet is a speck. All of the petty passion plays acted out here on Earth are meaningless to anyone that far away."

Again, Kyubey didn't respond.

"It's just…" Homura said, and she wasn't really talking to Kyubey any more. "For a long time, my universe was a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of that. One city for one month. And not even that. More like one person. Granted, for hundreds of years, but that's hardly anything compared to the age of the universe. And now I can see that. You and me, Kyouko, Mami… we might as well just be a single bacterium for all anyone on this Earth cares for our problems. And then you zoom out the telescope even more, and Earth is nothing too. It might as well not even be here…" she trailed off and sat up again. "Sorry, I got a little self-indulgent there."

Kyubey still didn't respond. For a while, Homura just stared out at the city again, her eyes glazed over. Then, just when she was about to say good night to Kyubey and head home, he said something.

_What you say is true, _Kyubey said. _On a cosmological scale your problems are meaningless. And yet out of all the planets in the universe – and there are many of them, more than you could ever imagine – this is the one my species has chosen._

"On a cosmological scale, your problems are also meaningless. So if that was supposed to comfort me, it didn't work." Homura exhaled, painting a cloud onto the chilled air like a child in art class dipping their paintbrush into a cup of water.

_I do not understand the concept of comfort,_ Kyubey said, licking his paw._ I was merely stating fact. In any case, while we are nothing to the universe at large, we are very large when measured on certain scales. We may be a bacterium to the world and an atom to the universe, but to atoms and bacteria we are giants of impossible scale. Even in the tiniest moment and in the smallest place, countless even smaller things die and are born. That you and I are in a position to experience this universe as sentient beings at all might by you humans be called astonishing._

Homura was the silent one this time. All that could be heard for a while was the noise of the cars below, gliding quietly from point A to point B. The city did not see the thirteen-year-old girl on top of the roof, nor her tiny familiar. Snow continued to drift down to the bottom of the city.

Finally, she laughed. If Kyouko, Mami, or anyone else she knew had been there, they would not have recognized the sound.

_Again, the curious human reaction of levity,_ Kyubey said, singsong. _What is it?_

"You're not the one I would have imagined thinking on the microscopic level," Homura said, and she cracked a smile. "Maybe you've been talking to me too much."

_The converse is true of you. Perhaps you're talking to me too much._ Kyubey stalked off into the night.

Homura cupped her hands out to the snow. She liked snow - there was something pure about it. Finally, after sitting there for a long time (or perhaps, when all was said and done, a very short one), she left.

The ground was covered with snow the next morning.

On her way to school, Akemi Homura saw a child making a snow angel. For the rest of the day, she felt happier than she had been in quite a while. She didn't know why.


	2. On self image

_**On self-image.**_

It was a summer night, and it was a goddamned hot one. You could feel the heat rising from the pavement. Akemi Homura was sitting on a curb, and Kyubey on the sidewalk. A flickering street lamp was trying desperately to illuminate them and coming just short of the mark.

"Hey," Homura said. "Look at what I've got."

She pulled out a pack of cigarettes from what must have been an invisible pocket.

I _see,_ said Kyubey. _Are you sure you should smoke? It's not very healthy._

"Doesn't matter anyway," said Homura moodily. "I'm not even alive anymore, right?"

_You're still subject to health problems._

"I don't really care. I want to, so I'm going to. It'll look cool." Homura sniffed and tilted her head.

_You seem to have a preoccupation with this "cool". I don't understand._

"I'm not going to explain cool to you. There are better wastes of time."

_Why is smoking cool?_

"Hard to say. I suppose it's to do with the way the smoke goes up into the sky. It's a striking image."

_You humans have an obsession with upward movement._

"We do build skyscrapers. I suppose you could say we want to touch the stars. Don't tell me your fellow Coobies didn't build them, once upon a time?"

_Coobies?_ Kyubey tilted his head.

"Yeah. What you assholes are called. You're Coobie so they're Coobies."

_I'm not Coobie. I'm Kyubey._

"Ooh, what's that, Coobie?" Homura said in the closest she could get to a teasing voice, which was 'slight inflection'. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say I just wounded your pride."

_I have no sense of pride, _said Kyubey in his usual dulcet tones. _I don't even understand the concept. But my name is Kyubey._

"It's hardly even your real name, is it? So I can call you Coobie if I want."

_Nevertheless, it's the name I chose to-_

"Here, Coobie." Homura grabbed Kyubey with one hand and placed him in her lap. "Who's the cutest little sociopath? Why, you are, Coobie." she said as she petted him, almost sounding like a regular girl playing with a regular cat.

_You need to stop this-_

"Coobie. Shhhhhh. Only cuddles now." Homura's expression was concealed by Kyubey, who she was now rubbing against her face. If it had been visible, a bystander would have seen the hint of a contemptuous smirk on her face.

_I could escape any time I wished to, you know._

"But you're not escaping, are you?"

No response.

Homura let out a small bark of laughter. It wasn't very joyous. "Homura 1, Kyubey 0. All right, I'll let you go."

She released him and got out a book of matches. She opened the pack of cigarettes and put one in her left hand. With her right hand, she deftly flicked the match against the rough side of the matchbook and lit up. Then she put the cigarette in her mouth.

Fifteen seconds later, the cigarette was ground into the pavement, the matchbook and pack had been flung behind her into the bushes, and Homura was still coughing.

_I did warn you,_ said Kyubey. He almost sounded smug.

_Dammit! _Homura thought to herself. _Fine. You win this round. Kyubey 1, Homura 0._


End file.
